Pocketful of Silver
There's an episode of Seinfeld where George refuses to cull the contents of his wallet - it's full of ten-year-old receipts, "Irish money" and all that sort of junk which needs to be thrown out regularly. The wallet gets so heavy that it begins to tilt his back and can barely be crammed shut.
My wallet isn't anywhere near as bad, but it does tend to be on the chaotic side - old receipts, business cards, leaflets for interesting products and so on. But the Figman is slim line guy. He can't even bear to carry more than a few dollars in change - any silver gets dumped on the dressing table as he comes in from work. This found its way into a tall container and gradually, the silver line went up and up.
I had to clear the table the other day and decided to empty the jar. I counted and I counted, arranging the coins in one dollar piles. I found rare coins I'd never seen before, New Zealand currency and even some Swiss coins. When I threw out the foreign fancy stuff, there was SEVENTY DOLLARS there in small change!!
I intended to cash it at the bank for some larger notes but it's wound up in a ziploc bag at the bottom of the pram. Today, at the deli, I decided to use it up in glorious culinary pursuits. I could have spent it on someting worthwhile, like washing powder or shoelaces, but hey, I am the one who had to look at that stupid jar for a year, right? As I counted out the coins for a lamb and vegie pie, fresh spring onion dip and fudgey fudge, the woman behind overheard me talking to the deli girl about my enormous bag of change (it doesn't look so big in this picture, but trust me, it's HEAVY). And as I turned around with my bag of goodies, she gave me an understanding look. "Oh I know!" she said, "Men and their change!"
Is this not an isolated incident? Is this how all men behave in the privacy of their own homes? Maybe I should get a bigger jar and make him take me to Flower Drum when it's full!